Bornfree,
Welcome, and sorry about your situation.
When he wrote you back and said he does not want an unscriptual divorce, he was basically asking you to give him scriptural grounds. He probably has someone lined up already that he would like to replace you with. They may have already done the deed, but he wants to blame you so he can look like the wronged party.
Remember, HE is the one that moved out and abandoned you and your children. He has no high ground to stand on. If nothing else, his sexual abandonment of you puts you both in a bad situation. Elders normally do not like that.
Figuratively speaking, cut his balls off in court.
Wishing you all the best!
zed